


Incremental Measurements

by Erisabesu (ErisabesuFic)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Naruto RarePair Week 2020, Romance, narutorarepairweek2020, prompt: Festival/holiday, prompt: The Moment Love Hits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23985217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisabesuFic/pseuds/Erisabesu
Summary: "Sai had thought they’d grown closer, that he understood how to maintain things, to measure the distance correctly.  But how could one tell?  How close was too close?  How far was too far?"Day 1: Naruto RarePair Week 2020 -- "The Moment Love Hits" and "Festival"
Relationships: Sai/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 14
Kudos: 89





	Incremental Measurements

**“Incremental Measurements”**

♦

Sai finished washing out his brushes in his art studio, and set them along the counter to dry overnight. Toweling his hands clean, he looked at his phone again. 11:08pm. Still no new notifications from Naruto.

His chest squeezed uncomfortably. 

Apparently Naruto had stopped talking to him, and he didn’t know why. The longer Naruto’s silence stretched, the more Sai’s anxiety had ratcheted higher and higher all afternoon and evening until he happened to notice the full dark outside surrounding the arts complex on campus in a thick cloak, and he gave up on his painting to call it a night. 

His stomach was empty, but the thought of food made him sick. Sai locked up his studio, zipped his black leather jacket and slung his messenger bag across his shoulder. He walked back toward his apartment, stiff with stress, letting his feet wander in the general direction he needed to go without picking a route in advance, no energy left except to plod one foot in front of the other.

The shadows along the sidewalk fluttered as the wind rattled the streetlamps. He distracted himself from the pangs of worry huddled under his sternum like nesting bats by watching the play of lamp glow and lightless haze across the fencing, concrete, and curbs, thinking about how he’d mix these exact shades on his palette. Maybe he’d start a new painting. A nighttime scene.

His mind flashed to all the unfinished canvases in his studio. He had too many as it was, and the idea of another one sitting blank or half-formed in his studio was disconcerting, too much pressure, so he dismissed the idea like one would swat away an annoying fly. Then he stopped, haloed under one of the street lamps. 

Maybe that’s exactly what was happening here.

Maybe Naruto had gotten tired of him. Found it hard to put up with him. Maybe Naruto hadn’t texted the entire day because he’d been enjoying a breath of fresh air without the fly’s buzzing, buzzing, lighting up his phone, interrupting, intruding in his space. Maybe Naruto was relieved not to deal with him. Maybe the expectation of talking so frequently was a burden, undesirable, and Naruto had had to step back, get away.

Sai had thought they’d grown closer, that he understood how to maintain things, to measure the distance correctly. But how could one tell? How close was too close? How far was too far?

The wind blew Sai’s hair across his forehead, and prompted him to keep shuffling his feet forward, one, and then the other, to his apartment where in private he could fully give in to the pull of sadness that had crept up on him all evening. 

Maybe if he thought about it hard enough, he could figure out where he’d gone wrong. If it wasn’t already too late, maybe it could still be fixed. He held on to that maybe, clenched it within his fist and shoved it into his jacket pocket.

♦

This thing with Naruto, it hadn’t started that long ago, whatever it was. A few times hanging out without any of their other friends. A few exchanged sms messages, then a few more. Some social media tags, and dm’s. The way it was suddenly so effortless to have fun together, studying for their core classes, doing nothing, goofing off. 

How Naruto would sometimes throw his head back and laugh with his whole body, and then touch Sai’s arm, or bump his knee on the couch. Sai wasn’t sure what it meant when this kind of thing started happening, but he had harbored a crush for forever, over a year, so he’d tried leaning their shoulders together a few times, or nudged Naruto’s feet under the coffee table while they played video games, especially when he was winning. 

He observed Naruto’s reactions carefully, the wink of blue eyes sent his way, or the return shoulder-bump in retaliation. These small moments added up, intensifying Sai’s feelings where they pooled in his belly, tingling and making him long for more.

Naruto had been the first one to say “date,” when making plans one weekend to visit the aquarium. Sai had agreed, voice steady but throat dry, palms moist, stomach rolling like an otter in excitement and the almost unbelievable good fortune that his crush had asked him out. And to the aquarium, no less, the most popular dating spot of all. There could be no mistake–it was one-hundred percent a date. Not two friends hanging out. A _date_.

The aquarium may have been one of the most famous date spots, but Sai only remembered the reflection of Naruto’s delighted expressions in the glass tank walls, the underwater lighting that made him ethereally beautiful and yet ultra masculine, and the echo of his exuberant cries as they moved through the different exhibits. It made sense; Naruto was a biology major. Seeing Naruto like this drew genuine smiles from Sai’s usually inexpressive face, which spurred Naruto to insist on taking a bunch of selfies together, some serious, some silly, some so completely ridiculous that it caused a scene and they had to run for it into another area. Sai had never had this much fun before.

The one moment of the date he’d never forget, probably ever, was when they were on their way out, and Naruto just … reached backward a little and hooked Sai’s fingers with his, then flashed him a shy smile, and squeezed. 

Sai’s heart nearly stuttered to a full stop, his engine choked from the overwhelming flood of emotions rushing through him from those fingertips. He squeezed back without hesitation, and as they walked, Naruto fit their hands together more securely, palm to palm, grip sure and strong. Sai memorized the dusting of pink across Naruto’s nose, and the beat of his pulse, as frantic as the one leaping through Sai’s veins. 

Measured in volume, Sai’s happiness increased exponentially in the same ratio as their physical distance decreased, pairs of feet soon learning to walk in step, and fingers sliding naturally between fingers.

He didn’t remember how they got to the restaurant, or what they ate for dinner. This was all so blinding–Naruto’s presence filled every corner of his mind, and Sai had never done this before, he didn’t know how to manage anything, what to say, what to do. Maybe it didn’t matter, because after dinner they walked to the subway and rode the train back to campus, standing side by side, fingers interlocked, neither of them caring if other passengers noticed because the whole world consisted of just the two of them.

On the way home, Sai surreptitiously looked at his date, how the burnt orange Patagonia jacket he wore everywhere flattered his shoulders and paired well with his shirt, four shades darker than his eyes. Naruto was the slightest bit taller, and Sai estimated the length of his humerus where their arms touched in the swaying train car, looked down and guessed Naruto’s shoes were probably a half size larger, but their hips were the same height, so they weren’t built all that differently at all. Sai composed portraits in his mind during that ride, memorizing proportions, his thumb tracing the slight imperfections in the back of Naruto’s hand that he was dying to capture in paint. 

At Sai’s door, Naruto folded him into a close hug that lasted a full breath, and then he just jogged off calling out goodnight, grinning and waving, to disappear around the block. 

It had happened so fast Sai hadn’t been able to utter a word or react in time to savor the feel of Naruto’s body or catch more than a whiff of his musky cologne. He stood there for a long time, watching where Naruto had vanished, so many feelings swirling around in his body like a school of fish, wriggling and making him light headed and euphoric and also a bit frightened that another person could become so dear to him, and could change so much at once.

For a second date they went to hear a local band play a gig, and then the third was in a coffee shop Naruto had scouted that turned out to be a gallery space for up and coming artists. Sai had lit up at the possibility of having his own show, and had gotten the gallery’s contact info for when he had more work completed. Naruto didn’t know much about art, but he tried his best, and Sai found his comments surprisingly astute, making his heart flutter and bob inside his chest with feelings he couldn’t name.

Occasionally they got take-out food and stayed in at one of their apartments, curled up on the couch for movies or video games. It wasn’t so different from before, except it was–Sai really liked it when Naruto put his arm around him and their sides pressed together, bodies lined up from shoulders all the way to their ankles in a comfortable squiggle that he wanted to copy onto white scroll paper with one of his ink brushes. 

Sai also liked lounging sideways with his legs across Naruto’s lap, one hand twined with Naruto’s. Restless and tactile by nature, Naruto would absently stroke his shins and feet with his free hand. Sai had never experienced anything that felt quite like that before, somehow both sensual and undemanding. Special. Something just for the two of them. 

He enjoyed these times, and wondered how he could deserve this kind of luxury with someone he cared about beyond what words could encompass. And yet, it felt so fragile, too, like any misstep could shatter the spell. Each moment was so precious to him.

Naruto’s goodbye kisses were as intense as the rest of him, each sending sparks of want through Sai’s lips to his belly and into his groin, stirring him up like the throttle of a sleek motorcycle, vibrating and a little desperate to let loose. Every time, Sai couldn’t resist pressing forward into Naruto, seeking more, _more_ , but Naruto always redirected, took a shaking breath, and hugged him tightly before saying goodnight and going back to his own apartment. 

Sai didn’t push–he wasn’t completely confident about what would come next anyways, from what little he knew from tv and movies. But he knew without a doubt that he didn’t want it with anyone else. All of him wanted all of Naruto, down to the very last eyelash and freckle. 

When they were separated, Naruto’s absence always affected him in this vast way, and it was hard to sleep or make art or do anything he was used to doing before this, before whatever this was.

Now their messages and dm’s were exchanged daily, mostly snatches of dialogue between classes, or checking in about when they could meet up next, sharing memes or funny pictures. If Naruto texted first one day, Sai texted first the next, and he thought this was the pattern of their connection but sometimes there would be a blip. A text that went unanswered, or a day passing without any word at all. Naruto never acted like it was a big deal, or like it meant anything. Sai believed him because he had no real reason not to, and no other frame of reference for these things. All of this, whatever it was, was his first. 

But ever since Sai was little, there was always an eel of suspicion worrying at his thoughts, and slinking in the darkest crevices of his heart. He’d never been good at reading people or understanding the nuances of other’s behavior, and therefore it was difficult to trust anything he experienced, especially anything he felt.

When there were no messages at all, did Naruto really not notice? Did he pass the hours of the day without feeling like something, or someone was missing? Did he wonder where Sai was or what he was doing–not in distrust, but in curiosity? Eagerness? Because Sai was always thinking about Naruto. 

They had different majors, so their classes were spread out across multiple buildings and it wasn’t common to cross paths without some arrangements, some effort. Sai had assumed the regular messages throughout the day were to make up for this, to keep them connected when they couldn’t see one another in person, and have the reassurance of a caressing hand, the brush of a lip.

For Sai, Naruto filled him up to the edge, a hyper-awareness and sensitivity that he didn’t know he possessed outside of the studio. When Sai was painting he had laser focus, and could be wholly consumed by the process and the subject matter, forgetting meals, falling asleep on any available surface, suffering headaches from dehydration. 

The more the distance closed between him and Naruto, and the more their lives and actions overlapped, the worse it was for Sai to weather the unexpected silences, cut off from the person who he’d come to realize wielded extreme power over him, intentional or not, the power to kindle pure joy or crush his heart to ashes with a single word or action, or the simple lack thereof.

Sai wondered if he should try texting him. Maybe Naruto was waiting for him to initiate? But if Naruto hadn’t texted because he didn’t want to, whatever the reason, texting him would be meaningless. Waiting would be difficult, but Sai didn’t want to risk sending a text and having it annoy Naruto further, make him appear too clingy, or push him away. Somehow he knew that would be worse than anything else.

Sai angled his feet to cross the street near his neighborhood, and felt the March wind lift strands of his hair. As he walked, he imagined a fox spirit sitting up in the trees, creating the wind with the shake of his tails to play a prank on a lonely traveler on his way home with shoulders hunched, and mouth dry, fists clenched in his pockets.

He was so lost in this idle fantasy that he didn’t see the person crouched and waiting by his apartment complex’s front gate until they popped up and startled him. Sai halted–he’d recognize that blond hair, the color of that jacket, and the contours of the muscles under those jeans anywhere. Sai ‘s stomach promptly dropped to his knees. 

_Oh no._

“Sai!” Naruto called out, hand lifted. “Where in _heck_ have you been?”

Naruto’s expression was a mix of things Sai couldn’t decipher in the low lighting, and his mind raced to try and anticipate what on earth it could mean to find Naruto right there in that spot, waiting for him after not speaking to him all day. His throat formed a lump, nerves taut on overdrive.

“Hey, are… are you okay?” Naruto came towards him, expressions shifting too fast for Sai to read as he reached out to touch his arm. 

Sai dodged, stepping back. Naruto’s brows shot up in surprise–which made Sai’s stomach seize and contort. _Shit_. Was that the wrong move? Was Naruto mad? Was he upset with him? Why was he there?

“Sai,” Naruto said softly, showing his palms in a calming gesture. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Sai looked into his eyes, searching, but he wasn’t sure how to act, he wasn’t sure what was going on between them except that he could sense Naruto’s tension by the line of his shoulders and the crease between his brows. 

Naruto met his gaze expectantly, and Sai finally realized he was waiting for a response, and would be waiting until Sai could figure out something to say.

Sai clenched his hands tighter in the pockets of his jacket, and finally dropped his eyes. He swallowed, and said the only thing he could think to say, the only thing he knew for an absolute fact at this point in time. “The paintings still aren’t finished.”

Naruto’s eyes widened, and Sai felt his whole body go cold in panic. Then Naruto sighed loudly and bent over limp, like all the air had whooshed out of his body in one go. This was not the kind of reaction Sai expected–and so he was unprepared to be tackled in a bear hug and crushed into Naruto’s strong arms. 

“No wonder you’re so late,” Naruto chuckled, nuzzling into Sai’s neck. “I thought you were mad at me or something for a sec, when you jumped away, but it sounds like you’ve been struggling. That really sucks. I’m sure you’ll finish soon, so, keep it up. And I’m here whenever you need a break, ok?”

Sai stood there, rigid in disbelief, yet tingling where Naruto’s breathy smile touched the side of his neck. His brows furrowed. “You…. you’re not mad?” he whispered.

“Hah?” Naruto said, squeezing him. “Why would I be mad?”

Sai shrugged, but it was ineffective in Naruto’s hold. “No texts.”

“Wait, didn’t you get my message? Or see the group chat?” Naruto pulled back enough to look at him, and Sai shook his head, confused. Thinking back, there may have been some group chat notifications, but if they weren’t from Naruto Sai hadn’t bothered to check.

“Fuck. Goddamn Kiba!” Naruto muttered.

Sai blinked. “Kiba?”

Then Naruto abruptly let go of him, and Sai swayed on the sidewalk, holding his hands out for balance. Naruto took them in his to help steady him, and then groaned at the sky. 

“Yes, Kiba, that fucker! He was goofing around at the marsh today when we were doing field work for our Bio project, and both our phones fell in the water! Frickin’ sucks. By the time we got back, the store was already closed so I can’t get a new one until tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Sai said, mind furiously backtracking throughout the day, trying to assimilate this information.

“I knew you had classes all day today, but I ran into that upperclassman of yours, Dei… dada?” Naruto paused, looking at Sai for confirmation. 

“Deidara,” Sai replied. 

“Right, him. I asked him to tell you about my phone, and that I’d be at the library with Shikamaru ‘till late tonight so you could contact me through him when you finished in your studio. He agreed, but I guess he didn’t tell you, did he?” 

Sai shook his head. Naruto made another frustrated noise. 

“What the hell, that asshole!” Naruto exclaimed. “Well anyways, when I didn’t hear from you, and Shikamaru said you hadn’t been in the group chat, I thought I’d come here and say hi in person. When you weren’t here I figured you’d be on your way home soon, so I waited. But you sure took a long time!”

Sai flinched, embarrassed. “I… lost track.”

“That’s what I figured.” Naruto grinned. “If you hadn’t come in another five minutes, I was going to head for the arts complex to find you. But you’re finally here!” He pulled Sai in for another strong hug. “So, hi!”

“Hi,” Sai exhaled. Naruto’s hugs were so tight, and felt so good, he couldn’t help sinking further into his grasp, hands clutching into the back of his jacket. Was this real? Was everything somehow… ok? A misunderstanding?

“I missed you today,” Naruto said, rubbing his nose back into Sai’s neck.

Sai’s heart gave a painful, ecstatic lurch. “Me too,” he said.

Naruto grinned into Sai’s skin, then changed his hold and angled his chin for a kiss. All of Sai’s anxiety began melting away with the press and slide of Naruto’s lips. He eagerly licked into Naruto’s mouth, unaccountably relieved that his fears had been so far off the mark, his reasoning faulty; he’d never been so happy to be wrong. 

This kind of romantic interlude did not happen if one person disliked or was upset with the other–on the contrary, deep and lingering kisses like these were given only to the one that meant the most, the one who was the closest and most important.

Sai scratched his fingers into Naruto’s hair, flexing his jaw as the kisses became hungrier, more urgent. His hips pressed flush against Naruto’s, aligning their anatomy and eliciting a moan that slid right down Sai’s throat and sent ripples throughout his body.

Naruto shifted his foot between Sai’s, one of his hands sliding under the leather jacket to rub the small of Sai’s back. After the next kiss Naruto licked over to Sai’s ear, nibbling the lobe. Sai shivered, gasping.

“Mmmm,” Naruto whispered, mouthing Sai’s neck gently. “Sai… we’re outside…”

Sai closed his eyes, biting into his lip. “Then… we should go in.”

Naruto groaned, sinking his forehead to Sai’s shoulder. “Can’t,” he said, arms wrapping tight around Sai’s waist. “If I do, I won’t want to leave.”

Sai turned his head, and licked Naruto’s ear where it always made him shiver. He didn’t want Naruto to leave, he wasn’t ready, he wanted to stay like this longer, a _lot_ longer. 

“Then stay,” he offered. It seemed so simple, really.

“Ahhhhrgh!” Naruto whined, squeezing him even harder. Then he released his hold so he could run both hands across Sai’s cheeks, cupping his face gently. “I can’t,” he said, touching their foreheads. “I promised myself that I’d wait. That I’d cherish you.”

Sai’s face flushed hot under Naruto’s hands, heart thudding in his chest at the confession, whatever it meant. He was sure he had colored several shades of pink. Then he saw that Naruto had also turned pink. Naruto pressed a quick kiss to Sai’s forehead.

“I’ll leave it at this for tonight.” Naruto grinned sheepishly, then took Sai’s hand and walked the short distance back over to the gate in front of Sai’s apartment complex.

“Tomorrow’s Thursday…. you’re free after lunch?” he asked. 

Sai laced their fingers, moving closer so their arms touched. “Yes, my art history class finishes at noon.”

“Good. Want to come with me to get a new phone?” 

Sai nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Great! I’ll wait for you in the cafeteria, and we’ll go after we eat. Then your number can be my first contact!” Naruto said. He let go of Sai’s hand so he could pick up his shoulder bag from the brick path in front of the iron gate, and sling it across his body. “And what about Friday, are you free?”

Sai nodded again. “I’m free.”

Naruto lit up. “Okay, keep your schedule open for me–there’s somewhere I want to take you!”

“Sure,” Sai answered. “Where do you want to go?”

“It’s a surprise!” Naruto laughed, walking backwards away from him. “I’ll tell you later. See you tomorrow!” He waved his hand, and flashed his signature, brilliant smile.

“Tomorrow,” he called, waving back, watching until Naruto reached the end of the block and had turned around to jog off into the distance and out of sight. 

It was not easy to calm down that night, his body still thrumming with desires and the sweet ache of longing. Sai squirmed, restless, thoughts of Naruto relentlessly looping through his brain.

It was frustrating to wait when he knew there was more, more for them to share, more for them to experience. But there was also something exciting about this prolonged tension, standing at the edge of the next level, anticipating the mysteries that awaited… 

What was Naruto waiting for? What did it mean, to be cherished? What did it mean, that he always stopped?

Sai couldn’t ignore the part of him that took this as a kind of rejection… that when Naruto held back it meant something was off, or not working out properly between them. It contradicted what he otherwise understood from Naruto’s hands, from his kisses, from his ardent advances all the way up to some invisible line that apparently couldn’t be crossed.

Sai closed his eyes, imagining that intangible line as a mark on a canvas that could be smeared, smudged, watered-down, scraped off and then completely eradicated, as soon as he figured out the right tools.

♦

Friday night began in a blur of vibrating music, flashing lights, and mouth watering scents from street vendors all lined up along the University campus in the neighboring town. 

“What do you think?” Naruto asked, excitedly slinging an arm around Sai’s neck. 

Sai’s sternum vibrated in time to the drumming coming from somewhere over to the left of the festival arena, and he smiled, curving his arm around Naruto’s waist. “Looks fun.”

“Right? Right?” Naruto’s smile outshone everything else around them.

“Where do you want to go first?” Sai asked.

“Doesn’t matter to me!” Naruto laughed, and swept his arm across the busy scene filled with people moving every which way. “We’re going to do it all, right?”

Sai’s mouth curved into a smile. He gave Naruto a quick kiss on the cheek. “Let’s go, then.”

They played all the games, bought masks, and ate grilled squids and takoyaki while watching the cultural performances. Sai won three tiny goldfish in a circular balloon on a string, and Naruto won a cheaply made, oversized lavender unicorn with a glitter mane and tail, uneven legs, and crossed eyes that was so ugly-cute they laughed until their stomachs cramped and couldn’t take it anymore.

Although they took tons of photos with Naruto’s new phone, snapchats and tweets and selfies at every booth, Sai didn’t miss a single second of being present with Naruto at the festival. He observed and tallied every sparkle of glee that shone in Naruto’s eyes, and relished their intertwined fingers as they navigated together through the crowds, unwilling to be separated. 

The festival’s energy was contagious, and so was Naruto’s excitement–he darted to and fro like a fox pup complete with wagging tail, determined to try out every possible entertainment. Sai’s heart squeezed in happiness so often, and without any warning, he sometimes worried he might be suffering some kind of serious health issue.

Later on, they devoured another round of choco-bananas with sprinkles, and then found a nice spot to see the closing fireworks display, lined up in a crowd along the wooden railing of a flat bridge overlooking a still, shimmering lake. Naruto’s arm rested around Sai’s shoulders, the other holding onto the stuffed unicorn. Sai leaned in close to Naruto, and slipped his hand underneath Naruto’s jacket to rub lazy, contented circles on the back of his shirt. Every so often, Naruto turned to press his lips into Sai’s temple, or his cheek, or below his ear, while bursts of neon colors flared across the sky, and comets and meteors quietly streaked and erupted within Sai’s chest.

As the festival wound down, the two of them wandered leisurely along a more remote area of campus, taking in the scenery. Sai had visited this school before, but wasn’t too familiar with the layout; they didn’t have an art program, so it hadn’t been one of his top choices. 

They came upon a courtyard with a grassy quad and a three-tiered fountain, and then followed an outer path that curved along a line of trees that bordered the lake. The campus safety lights glowed in the darkness and lit up the sidewalk, and the moon hung full and heavy in the sky, reflecting in the water with scattered stars dancing on its slowly lapping surface.

“Oh! Cattails!” Naruto pointed with the unicorn, tugging Sai’s hand excitedly. “That means there might be….” He cocked an ear to the sky, listening intently, then turned and passed Sai the unicorn, grinning. “Just a sec!”

Sai took the unicorn, and followed Naruto partway into the grass, curious. Naruto crouched forward, hands out for balance as the grass sloped downwards towards the lake below, where cattails swayed in thick clumps along the water’s edge. He made his way downward, looking for something, and Sai watched with wide eyes piqued with curiosity.

Then Naruto’s hands shot into the lush grasses and clapped together, capturing something inside the air pocket made by his palms. Naruto peeked inside, carefully, and then turned to Sai, beaming.

“Ahhhhh! I got one!” he cried, climbing carefully back up the bank to where Sai waited.

“What is it?” Sai asked, inclining his head, so curious.

“Haha, it’s my biology project!” Naruto laughed. “Here, move into the light,” he said, guiding Sai under one of the campus lamps near the sidewalk. 

He held his cupped hands where Sai could see inside the wedge of space he made between his thumbs. Sai peered, and there in Naruto’s hands was the tiniest frog he’d ever seen–barely the size of a nickel, its shiny green-gray skin dappled with miniscule black bumps like splatter from an ink brush, and round yellow eyes that circled this way and that, blinking and meeting Sai’s gaze in mutual inspection.

“They’re called peepers,” Naruto explained. “You can hear them singing, if you listen closely. It’s early yet, but as the Spring warms up they can really get a chorus going.”

“Ohh…” Sai said quietly, eyes wide in amazement. “So… _small_.” 

“Yep, but they can jump really high!” Naruto exclaimed, peering down into his hands again. “Isn’t that right, little gama-chan?”

At this, the frog made an attempt to escape, and Naruto quickly closed his hands, yelping. 

“Whoops! Haha, that tickles!” He flashed Sai a blinding smile. “He’s jumping around all over the place, let me go put him back real quick.”

Naruto hopped part way back down the riverbank, and carefully set the frog back in the cool, dewy grass. Then he stood and laughed, rubbing the back of his head. Sai remained there on the sidewalk, struck momentarily dumb by the completely, absurdly adorable look on Naruto’s face. Something in him began welling up, gushing from his core as Naruto came closer and closer.

Sai hugged the unicorn tighter against his body, but it didn’t quell the flutters behind his navel. As Naruto approached, the activity in his middle increased, like sparks of light filling him up from the inside, particle after particle, infinite fireflies, too many to count, flowing into every vein, pushed along by the throbbing, pumping of his heart.

He’d always liked Naruto. He liked his kindness, the way he took care of those around him. His unique charisma drew people to him, Sai included, and since this started, whatever it was, that charisma had become a magnetism that Sai couldn’t resist. 

But it wasn’t just that. It was Naruto’s laugh, his voice, his texts overloaded with emojis, his eating habits, his signature orange jacket, his toothy grin, how he’d said “gama-chan” and had been so careful with the itty-bitty frog, releasing it back into its habitat–and it wasn’t really any of those things either. 

Sai felt something serious, intense, and enormous for this person walking up to him right now, who was somehow even more dazzling than ever before. 

“Hey,” Naruto said, smiling at him, hands tucked in his back pockets as he joined him back on the sidewalk. “Do you want to keep walking? Or what do you want to do now?”

Sai looked at him, unsure if he could even form a response while his feelings were surging up inside him, vibrating in his ribcage and trying to erupt from his throat. He swallowed, and then–just like that–he knew exactly what this was. It did have a name–he’d read about it, heard about it before. It had been hibernating there inside him all this time, waiting for him to put the pieces together and recognize it. 

The lightbulb was so strong Sai wavered on his feet, deer in the headlights, and took a wobbly step towards Naruto, who automatically reached out to steady him, hands on his elbows.

“You okay?” Naruto asked, gently propping him up. “Are you sick? Do you need to sit down?”

Sai met his blue eyes, heart swollen and filled to the bursting point. He put his arms around Naruto’s neck, one hand holding the string for the goldfish, the other clutching the ugly unicorn’s fuschia scruff, and he smiled, a genuine, real smile. 

Naruto relaxed against him, and fit his hands gently around Sai’s hips. Sai’s pulse kicked up another notch, body shaking with the need to declare what was on the back of his tongue, while also fighting the contradictory, instinctive need to keep suppressing it against the roof of his mouth and avoid any risk of being hurt.

But now that he knew, here, and now, secluded by the trees lining the quiet lake, just the two of them, what he wanted more than anything was to set his feelings free, give them away to this person that he–

Sai pulled Naruto closer, so he could breathe in the spicy scent of his neck, and feel the solid presence of him against his body. “I’m okay. I’m okay, I just…” He swallowed. “I just… love you.”

Naruto’s breath hitched, his body tense. Sai forced down the panic and waited, holding absolutely still, resting his chin on the top of Naruto’s shoulder. 

He didn’t have to wait long–Naruto sighed and melted against him, winding his arms around Sai’s back and gripping his jacket like a lifeline, all of him trembling with emotion.

Naruto nuzzled into Sai’s nape, and whispered, “Me too.” He took a shuddering breath, and Sai’s skin flared in concentric tingles from the point of contact. “Me too, Sai, I love you too.”

Sai closed his eyes, amazed that his ribs still contained his heart, what with how powerfully it was slamming into his chest. He opened his eyes, wanting to see all the colors of this moment, how they blended and shifted with the shadows, sparkled under the moonlight. He turned in Naruto’s hold, and switched the goldfish to his other hand so he was free to touch Naruto’s cheek, smooth his thumb over Naruto’s lips and catch the glints of emotion at the corners of his eyes. 

The moment was sweet, and they held onto it, gazes locked, savoring the romantic tension that snapped taut now that a weight had been lifted, no invisible line keeping them apart. Naruto shifted a hand to cup the back of Sai’s head, fingers tangling in his dark hair, mouth curling up on one side. Sai flushed, going all over warm at the fondness, the depth of feelings he could read in Naruto’s expression, no longer in need of translation.

Sai couldn’t help it, he rushed forward to meet Naruto’s lips, the last shreds of distance between them falling away in increments with every passing second, blown away like dust on the whistle of the chilly wind, until there was nothing left that could ever separate them again.

♦

Sai washed the last of his brushes, lining them up on the counter in his studio to dry, and reached for a towel.

He checked his phone. 5:38pm. No texts. Naruto was late.

Then Sai heard the door down the outer hallway open, and his ears tracked the loud footsteps coming closer all the way to his studio door. A soft smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. Then there was a knock, and Naruto’s blond head popped in.

“Yo! Am I interrupting?”

Sai shook his head, and motioned for him to come in. “I was just cleaning up.”

“Sorry I’m a little late, how’d it go–ohhhh wow!” Naruto exclaimed, moving over to the easel. “You finished it!”

Sai joined him in front of the painting. “Just now.”

“It’s, _wow_ ,” Naruto said. “This is stunning!

Sai smiled, taking his hand. “Thank you.”

“I like the way you did the fireworks! It really feels like a festival,” Naruto said, admiring the painting from top to bottom. “How’d you even make this color? It’s so… it’s amazing, Sai.”

Sai squeezed Naruto’s hand, and pointed to something miniscule and almost hidden in the rows of silhouetted cattails ringing the lake in the nighttime scenery. Naruto squinted, leaning forward, and then gasped. 

“Haha, it’s a peeper!” he exclaimed, blue eyes dancing in delight. “Awww, it’s so small, so cute. Little gama-chan.”

“Thought you’d like that,” Sai said.

“I like it,” Naruto chuckled. “I love it.” Then he grabbed Sai in a big hug and lifted him off the ground, before kissing him breathless. 

When it was possible to form words, Sai asked, “Are we still eating dinner at your place?”

“You bet,” Naruto grinned, arms loose around Sai’s back. Then he leaned in. “Are you… staying over? Tonight? After we eat?”

Sai lifted his brows, amused to see Naruto’s cheeks turn pink at the invitation, when they had spent the night at each other’s places quite a few times in the three weeks since the festival. But he supposed he felt the same–all of this was still new, and rather thrilling. 

Sai leaned in to brush his lips across Naruto’s mouth, unable to stop from teasing him, just a little. “That depends. I thought you said that you wanted to cherish me.”

“Well, yeah, of course I do! And I will!” Naruto colored even further, like he’d been sunburned. “I’ll, um, cherish you a lot. As much as you want.”

Sai put on his black jacket, and zipped it up. “I see. But what if I want to cherish you?”

Naruto’s flush was now full-on raspberry jam, and he made spluttering noises, which Sai found very enticing, and thought he might enjoy investigating at a later time. He collected his shoulder bag, and opened the studio door so Naruto could pass him into the hall while he locked up. Naruto cleared his throat to compose himself, taking Sai’s hand and fitting their fingers together as they traversed the hall.

“G-go ahead then,” Naruto said, cocking his head and making it something of a challenge. “You can cherish me all you want to, too.”

Sai chuckled. “Oh I don’t know. You’ll have to wait and see.”

“Now you’re just teasing me!” Naruto complained, bumping Sai’s shoulder, but grinning.

“Maybe this is how I cherish you, Naruto,” Sai replied, shouldering him back in retaliation, a half-smirk pulling the corner of his mouth.

“Ugh, _you_ ,” Naruto complained. But he stopped them at the end of the hallway before they passed through the building’s double-doors to the campus outside, ducking into the corner, folding Sai into his arms and pressing searing kisses on his mouth, to which Sai had no objections. 

In tender moments like these, Sai’s feelings of love for Naruto elevated to a point that no measurement instrument had yet been invented that could capture its accurate height, width, depth, breadth, weight, volume, or temperature. And yet these feelings were somehow contained within his mind and his heart, the infinite held by the finite, a paradox and conundrum that he was happy to spend the rest of his life with Naruto trying to quantify, even as it grew, increment by increment. 

—

Ω

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! ♥
> 
> Twitter: [@erisabesu3](https://twitter.com/erisabesu3)


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